I want. I want. I want.
Doesn’t sound like much of a quote, but it is. I read Carson McCuller’s The Heart is A Lonely Hunter and I loved it. The particular paragraph where this was found has never left me. It reads:
"She thought a long time and kept hitting her thighs with her fists. Her face felt like it was scattered in pieces and she could not keep it straight. The feeling was a whole lot worse than being hungry for any dinner, yet it was like that. I want-I want-I want was all she could think about--but just what this real want was she did not know."
For so long, I have not ever known what I wanted. I could tell you what I didn’t want: Where would you like to eat? I don’t know, but not McDonalds, etc. Somewhere along the way I stopped giving myself permission to dream.
For the first time in a long time, I know something that I want. Something big. Something that I will have to really work hard for. Something that I will have to wait for. Something that I will have to prove that I really do want by not giving up. Even if I work really hard and even if I do not give up, there is still a chance that this dream will not happen. I understand that. I think it will be worth trying for.
Today I have a dream. Want with me. I want, I want, I want…
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